Drowning in time
by HR always live on
Summary: What if Meredith had died in series three? A one shot, my first greys fan fic.


_My first foray into Grey's fanfiction._

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><p>"Time of death, 17:53," the chief said sadly. He turned away from her body and punched the wall, hard as Bailey and Burke watched on sadly. "Oh God," the chief murmured. He turned back to Meredith's dead form and swallowed. "I can't," he added and walked out of the trauma room.<br>"We need…" Burke said quietly. "To tell them."

"I'll talk to the interns," Bailey said. "Maybe you should talk to Derek?"  
>Burke shook his head but not in disagreement, more in denial. "Yes," he said. "I'll tell him." Burke and Bailey both left the room at the same time, leaving Meredith's body with a nurse. She had no need of doctors anymore after all. As soon as Bailey left the room Izzy, Cristina and George all started talking at once. Bailey let them carry on for a moment before she shouted.<p>

"STOP!" They immediately fell silent and then she was faced with the impossible task of telling them the horrible truth. She shook her head, the truth already in her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"No," Izzy murmured in denial as George started rocking from side to side. Cristina didn't say a word, simply pushed past Bailey and ran into the room. She lay on the bed, looking so pale and so small. She had a look at the monitor and saw the permanent flat line, which hadn't yet been switched off.

"Oh Meredith," she said with a sigh. Her eyes filled with tears and she moved to sit next to her head. She didn't want to leave her best friend alone, even in death. She stayed that way, in the silence until someone else came in to take over.

Burke paged Derek but still couldn't find him. Eventually he found him resuscitating Ellis Grey, who's heart had now stabilised. As soon as Derek saw him, he left Ellis to the care of the nurses. "How is she?" Derek asked, eyes red rimmed. Burke didn't say anything. He didn't have to. He looked at the floor and gently shook his head. "No," Derek said as his body started shaking. "No she can't be."

"I'm so sorry," Burke said. He was about to add more when Addison came around the corner. She looked from Burke to Derek and felt her heart drop.

"Oh Derek," she murmured as he completely fell apart in a mess of tears and shaking. She wrapped her arms around him in a friendly and comforting hug and let him cry into her shoulder. "I think you should see her," Addison said after minutes and minutes of tears. Derek nodded. He seemed unable to speak. His grief seemed to be beyond words. He walked so quickly it was one step behind running. He could barely see where he was going but he continued blindly, needing to find her.

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><p>He opened the door to find Cristina holding her hand silent in death. "I'll… go," she said. Cristina gave Meredith's hand a last squeeze and then left. Derek was left alone with her and hated the tube that was still sticking out of her throat. He couldn't stand it. He quickly removed it, wanting her face to be clear. When the tube was out he looked at her face softly. If it wasn't for the pale pallor of her skin and the absence of the rise and fall of her chest, she could have been sleeping.<p>

"Oh God, Meredith," he murmured. "Why did you let go?" He leant over her and kissed her forehead for several seconds. As if when his touch left her she truly would be gone. "I love you," he whispered. He sat in the chair Cristina had so recently vacated and sat down. He kept stroking her hair lovingly. "I should have been there for you. I should have known that when you tried to drown in the bath tub, I should have known. I wanted to protect you and it led to this? I'm so sorry." He kept repeating his love and his apologies way into the darkness of the night. Eventually he rested his head next to hers, ignoring the tears that fell on her hair. He couldn't stop crying and knew it was from a completely broken heart. He'd never get over this, and everyone who looked through the glass window at his reaction to Meredith's death knew it. He'd never be the same person ever again.

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><p><em>Not really very happy with this but thought I'd post my first effort anyway. Reviews always help, even if you hate it.<em>


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